A thirteen-year-old boy was sitting on the sofa watching TV when the phone rang.
“Hello, my son.” It was his father’s voice, “Where is your mother?”
“Mother is working in the garden.”
“What?” barked the father, “Your mother is not as young and strong as she used to be. Why aren’t you helping her?”
“I can’t.” was the reply. “Grandma is using the other hoe.”
Is there a crib in your stomach?
When my sister-in-law Leach was expecting her second child, her son Brain would sometimes touch his mother’s tummy to feel the baby move.
One day, while touching her stomach and not feeling anything, he asked, “How come the baby isn’t moving?”
“The baby is sleeping.” replied his mother.
Brain thought a moment and then said, “You mean you got a crib in there too?”
Why is he crying?
“Tom, what’s the matter with your brother?” asked the mother in the kitchen. “He’s crying.”
“Oh, nothing, Mum.” replied Tom. “I’m eating my cake. He is crying because I won’t give him any.”
“But has he finished his own cake?”
“Yes.” said Tom. “And he also cried when I was helping him finish that.”
Saving a Dollar
Johnny: Papa, would you be glad if I saved a dollar for you?
Papa: Naturally, my son.
Johnny: Well, I have saved one dollar for you. You said that if I brought a good mark this week, you would give me a dollar and I haven’t brought one.
Still in the Same Cemetery?
A man asked an acquaintance how his wife was; then, suddenly remembering that she had died, he blurted out, “Does she still live in the same cemetery?”
Father’s John Hancock
Teacher: Tom, you haven’t shown your parents the examination papers, have you?
Tom: Yes, I have, sir.
Teacher: But I can’t find your father’s John Hancock on the papers at all.
Tom: Here, sir.(Showing his whipped arm to the teacher.)
A visitor to the zoo noticed one of the keepers sobbing quietly in a corner and an inquiry was told the elephant had died.“Fond of him,was he?”the visitor asked.
“It’s not that,”came the reply.“He’s the chap who has to dig the grave.”
(李 伟 供稿)