作者 :  本刊编辑部

  Son:Mother,what would you do if someone broke the vase(花瓶) in the dining room?
  Mother:I would whip(鞭打) him.
  Son:Then you?蒺d better get ready. Father?蒺s broken it.
  A man:What?蒺s your name,little boy?
  A boy:I don?蒺t know.
  Man:How does your mother call you when the cakes are done?
  Boy:She doesn?蒺t call me. I?蒺m there already.
  Father:My good son,if you go to practise playing the piano. I will give you five dollars.
  Son:No. The uncle in the next room says if I don?蒺t practise playing the piano,he will give ten dollarls.
  Ann:Would you get mad at me for something I didn?蒺t do?
  Teacher:No,of course not!
  Ann:Good,because I didn?蒺t do my homework.
  Tom:Do you always take your bath in muddy(泥泞的) water?
  Bob:But it wasn?蒺t muddy when I got in.
  Fred:Do fish ever sweat(出汗)?
  John:Of course they do. That?蒺s why the water of the sea is so salty.
  Teacher:Your handwriting is worse than John?蒺s.
  Victor:But I can write as beautifully as John if I am writing with his pen.
  Mum:Why do you always take so many sweets just befor you go to bed?
  Son:I hope I can have sweet dreams.
  Mum:What are you doing there,Mary?
  Mary:I?蒺m watering the flowers.
  Mum:But it?蒺s raining.
  Mary:It doesn?蒺t matter,Mum. I have an umbrella.
  Teacher:Why are you late for school?
  Victor:It was late when I started from home.
  Teacher:Then why didn?蒺t you start early?
  Victor:It was already too late to start early,sir.
  A man teacher told the girl students who were making noises,“Two women make one thousand ducks.”
  After a while,the teacher?蒺s wife came for him. One of the girl students reported,“Five hundred ducks are asking for you,sir.”
  Little Tom was writing a latter to his friend,Bob.
  “Dear Bob,”he wrote,“if you can?蒺t receive this letter,please write back at once and tell me where you live. You see,I lost your address.”
  Day after day a boy and his dog went to school together until,at last,the day came when they had to part(分别).
  What happened?
  The dog graduated.

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