Son：Mother，what would you do if someone broke the vase（花瓶） in the dining room？
Mother：I would whip（鞭打） him.
Son：Then you？蒺d better get ready. Father？蒺s broken it.
A man：What？蒺s your name，little boy？
A boy：I don？蒺t know.
Man：How does your mother call you when the cakes are done？
Boy：She doesn？蒺t call me. I？蒺m there already.
Father：My good son，if you go to practise playing the piano. I will give you five dollars.
Son：No. The uncle in the next room says if I don？蒺t practise playing the piano，he will give ten dollarls.
Ann：Would you get mad at me for something I didn？蒺t do？
Teacher：No，of course not！
Ann：Good，because I didn？蒺t do my homework.
Tom：Do you always take your bath in muddy（泥泞的） water？
Bob：But it wasn？蒺t muddy when I got in.
Fred：Do fish ever sweat（出汗）？
John：Of course they do. That？蒺s why the water of the sea is so salty.
Teacher：Your handwriting is worse than John？蒺s.
Victor：But I can write as beautifully as John if I am writing with his pen.
Mum：Why do you always take so many sweets just befor you go to bed？
Son：I hope I can have sweet dreams.
Mum：What are you doing there，Mary？
Mary：I？蒺m watering the flowers.
Mum：But it？蒺s raining.
Mary：It doesn？蒺t matter，Mum. I have an umbrella.
Teacher：Why are you late for school？
Victor：It was late when I started from home.
Teacher：Then why didn？蒺t you start early？
Victor：It was already too late to start early，sir.
A man teacher told the girl students who were making noises，“Two women make one thousand ducks.”
After a while，the teacher？蒺s wife came for him. One of the girl students reported，“Five hundred ducks are asking for you，sir.”
Little Tom was writing a latter to his friend，Bob.
“Dear Bob，”he wrote，“if you can？蒺t receive this letter，please write back at once and tell me where you live. You see，I lost your address.”
Day after day a boy and his dog went to school together until，at last，the day came when they had to part（分别）.
The dog graduated.