儿童性侵几时休？

来源:用户上传      作者: 本刊编辑部

　　In people’s mind, children are more related to the positive words like “innocence” and “innovation”. However, the hope of the future is more and more involved in sexual assault incidents. Those incidents stimulate people’s sensitive nerves and challenge people's psychological bottom line again and again. Getting angry and sighing for the poor children, people also have to think what makes the children’s life so miserable and how to prevent these tragedies from happening again.
　　在人们的印象中，与儿童挂钩的词藻多为泛美之辞。然而，象征着希望、代表着未来的群体却频频成为了性侵对象。接二连三发生的儿童性侵事件一次次刺激着民众敏感的神经，挑战着民众的心理底线。扼腕叹息之余，人们开始理性的思考究竟是什么原因让儿童屡遭恶运，如何才能避免这样的悲剧一再发生等问题。
　　Lagging Behind of Sex Education
　　性教育滞后
　　Recently, the “National Children's Survey of Sex Education” was initiated by The Beijing News and Maple Women's Psychological Counseling Center. The survey is divided into two parts of students and parents. 107 children aged from 6 to 14 participated in the written-form survey, and more than 1100 parents participated in the online survey. Children told us that their knowledge about sex mainly comes from their parents, and then schools. 38.04% of the children state that they have never been told to protect their own bodies. Similarly, 41.9% of the parents admit that they have never guided their kids to know their bodies and bodies of the opposite sex and only 37.9% of the parents said they have told the children to protect their “private parts” from being touched by other people. Although 68.4% of the parents have conducted sex education for children, more than one third of them focus on physiological knowledge, and only18.6% of the parents told their children how to ask for help and escape the scene when they might be under sexual assaulted.
　　日前，新京报联合红枫妇女心理咨询中心发起的“全国儿童性安全知识教育状况调查”出炉。本次调查分学生和家长问卷两部分，其中107名6-14岁的儿童参与了书面问卷调查，1100余名家长接受了网络问卷调查。在调查中，受调查的儿童表示，性知识教育主要来自于家长，其次是学校。但有38.04%的儿童表示，从未有人告诉过他们要保护自己的身体。在家长方面，41.9%的家长表示从未引导孩子认识过自己和异性的身体；仅有37.9%的家长教育孩子“认识自己身体的隐私部位，其他人不能碰”；尽管有68.4%的家长表示对孩子进行过性教育，其中有三成家长选择的是生理知识教育，仅有18.6%的家长会传授孩子当遇到他人碰触隐私部位的时候，如何求助或逃离危险的技能。
　　Given that it is a very private and sensitive topic, 93.1% of the parents support that program related to “prevention of child sexual abuse” should be added to the systematical education. However, what schools have done are far from enough. Only 8.3% of the parents know for sure that schools have relevant courses of the prevention of child sexual abuse, and 43.5% of the parents believed that there are no such courses in schools. The courses like this is not a compulsory course regulated by the state yet, and whether to open these courses is totally up to schools, so there is no standard for such courses. Some schools have similar courses, but only for inspections. 　　鉴于该话题难以启齿，调查中93.1%的家长支持将“预防儿童性侵害”相关教育纳入学校正规教育体系。然而，学校在性教育方面也存在着明显不足。仅有8.3%的家长表示明确知道学校在做性安全知识教育，43.5%的家长表示学校没开展过此类教育。由于不是国家硬性规定课程，学校可选择不开或变相开设此类课程，因此很不规范，有的学校甚至只是为了应付检查。
　　The student part of this survey was the first to come across some embarrassing situation. Some school leaders believe it is too sensitive and would not like their students to answer the questions. Only 15 students in one school are allowed to fill the questionnaire. “The questionnaires are specially designed for middle school students, but it seems that they are still unacceptable for the parents”, experts from Maple said regretfully.
　　在此次调查中，学生问卷部分首先遭遇尴尬，多个北京的学校领导认为内容敏感，仅一所学校让15名学生填写了问卷。“学生问卷第一稿适合中小学生回答，但没想到还是没法让学校和家长接受。”红枫的专家对此表示遗憾。学生问卷部分经几次修改才被部分家长接受，但问卷仍没能进入学校。
　　.“The incidents of sexual assault are highly masked because parents would not like to disclose it due to the social pressure and other factors. Cases that have been accepted by courts and procuratorates on all levels are only a small part of them.” In the survey, only 42.8% of the parents show that they would call the police if their children are sexually abused, and 18.2% of the parents will choose to take their children away from the current circumstances and hide this experience forever. It is not hard to notice the gap: on one hand, people have realized the importance of sex education for children; on the other hand, when it comes to the implementation, people become the obstacle of sex education consciously or unconsciously due to the “sensitiveness”. If we continue in this fashion, sex education’s future is really worrying.
　　“性侵事件的隐蔽性高，迫于社会压力等诸多原因，很多家长不愿曝光此事，可以说，进入法院和检察院的案件只是一部分。”在调查中，仅有42.8%的家长表示，如果孩子遭受性侵会选择报警。18.2%的家长选择带孩子远离现在的朋友圈，不让人知道。从调查结果中不难发现其中的反差，一方面大家几乎都意识到对孩子进行性教育的重要性；另一方面，在真正开展这方面的教育时，却因为觉得“敏感”而有意无意地阻止。如此下去，性教育普及堪忧。
　　Actually it is a true picture of what’s been happening in Chinese primary and middle schools. According to Xiong Bingqi, a renowned educationist, there are two reasons why the popularization of sex education is difficult in China’s schools. First, people, including teachers and parents, lack of the scientific understanding of sex education and are bounded by traditional morality, feeling ashamed to talk about sex with children. As a matter of fact, sex education is not that different from other subjects like literature and math. It helps children know about sex knowledge and morality, and at the same time, teaches them how to protect themselves. Sex education doesn’t encourage indulgence but foster their sexual values and self-protection awareness. 　　其实，这是包括中国在内的诸多中小学性教育的真实写照。在著名教育学者熊丙奇看来，性教育之所以在学校难以推进，与两方面因素有关。一是缺乏对性教育的科学认识，包括教师和家长在内的不少人受到传统道德观念的影响，总觉得有关性的话题不登大雅之堂。对学生进行性教育，则有教唆早恋之嫌。事实上，性教育和其他学科教育的性质没有什么不同，它将告诉学生科学的性知识、性道德，并教育引导学生如何保护自己。性教育不是鼓励放纵，而是让孩子有健康的性价值观和性保护意识、能力。
　　Second, in China, parents and schools are obsessed by children’s performance on exams, and neglect their needs for citizenship and life education. Sex education, like physical and psychological education, is being marginalized. To achieve higher proportion of students entering schools of a higher grade, some schools even lay down rules to keep boys and girls separated to avoid “puppy love”, which doesn’t only violate students’ civil rights, but also lead them to wrong directions and will even cause serious psychological problems.
　　二是在中国当前的升学考试评价体系中，学校和家长都关注学生的考试分数，重视对学生的知识教育，而并不关注对学生的公民教育、生活教育、生命教育。性教育和体育教育、心理教育一样，都在学校中处于被边缘的位置。有的学校为了让学生全身心地投入学习获得升学的高分，打着为学生好、关心学生成长的标签，出台了诸如禁止男生和女生单独相处，要求男生和女生交谈至少要保持一米以上距离等等校规。这类校规不仅侵犯了学生作为公民的权利，也没有引导学生正确处理情感问题，还人为制造同学交往的紧张，让学生产生心理问题。接连发生的校园性侵事件，也正是在为人师表者打着“为学生好”的幌子之下大行其道。
　　Legal Loopholes
　　法律的缺失
　　Except for the absence of sex education, the abuse of power and the public’s lacking of legal consciousness also contribute to the frequent occurrence of child sex assaults. According to UNICEF, the lack of legal consciousness among developing countries including China has caused more and more children becoming victims of sex assaults. Dale Rutstein, the Chief of Communication and Partnership at UNICEF, suggests spreading the notion that sexually assaulting children is a crime and would be heavily punished to the public.
　　除了教育的滞后之外，权力的滥用和法律意识的淡漠与缺失也是导致儿童遭遇性侵的重要原因。在联合国儿童基金会看来，儿童受到性侵害的事件是一个世界性的问题，是整个人类的耻辱。包括中国在内的一些国家，存在性侵犯概念模糊的问题，从而导致了儿童性侵事件的频繁发生。在荣明达看来，只要成年人对儿童进行了性侵犯，那就属于犯罪行为。没有不严重、严重或者非常严重等这些程度上的分别，侵害者应该被依法惩罚并送进监狱，这个应该被大众所熟知。
　　In China, the laws and regulations aimed at protecting children from harm are limited by The Law on the Protection of Minors and The Law on the Prevention of Juvenile Delinquency. There is no regulation and guidance of restraining ex-convicts, caring program, information sharing and early warning.
　　然而，针对儿童性侵的法律却不尽如人意。以中国为例，虽然中国法律法规数量众多，但对于弱势的未成年人群体的制度保护往往只停留在《未成年人保护法》、《预防未成年人犯罪法》等笼统的法律条文上，在处理前科惯犯、事后关怀辅导、知情通报制度、应急报警热线等具体但却尤为重要的措施上，既无法律规定，也无统一指引章程。
　　On the other hand, the public are still questioning whether the charge of “underage prostitution” is too light, worrying that it might be the "passage out of death penalty” for the offenders with powerful background. 　　另一方面，随着性侵儿童案件不断暴光后，人们开始质疑，目前对于猥亵性侵儿童行为的处罚太轻，远不足以起到震慑恶徒，惩前毖后的作用。比如“嫖宿幼女罪”，在很多人看来，“嫖宿幼女罪”为放纵犯罪、为权贵提供了“免死通道”。
　　Early Sex Education Prevents Children from Sex Assaults
　　让儿童远离性侵需要性教育先行
　　The frequent occurrence of child sex assaults has led people to ask when the best age for children to receive sex education is. Researches show that the children in the age of 8 to 12 are in the highest risk of being sexually assaulted, but the danger actually exist in an age as early as 5. Therefore, early education is highly necessary, which require schools and parents to think about this very issue.
　　目前，性侵儿童事件的相继暴出引发了人们对于性教育该何时开始，该怎样进行等这类问题的广泛讨论。据相关调查显示，儿童性侵害易发生的年龄是8-12岁，但其实从5岁开始，性侵害的危险就开始逐步增高。因此，性保护教育更该从幼儿开起。在熊丙奇看来，归根究底，探讨“性安全”话题，还得先要大人解开心结。无论是学校和家长，都应该认真思考该对学生进行怎样的性教育。
　　As children’s legal guardians, parents are inevitably responsible for providing early education for their children, and their default could endanger their children. For schools, basic civic education should be provided to let children know about their rights and responsibilities so as to ensure they can protect themselves and at the same time, won’t do other people any harm. Without any doubts, self-protection education against sex assaults should be included.
　　对于家长来说，要意识到，对学生进行性教育，这是作为监护者的责任和义务，如果不对成长中的孩子进行这方面的教育，导致孩子被侵犯，也是监护人的失责。而对于学校来说，对学生最基本的教育应是公民教育，要把学生培养为合格的社会公民，由此应告诉学生作为公民的基本权利，怎样保护自身的权利，以及对应这些权利所必须履行的公民责任。要给学生公民教育，学校就应该做遵纪守法的模范，不在学校管理、教育教学活动中侵犯学生的权利。而围绕公民教育，“预防儿童性侵害”这类教育，也就自然纳入了正常的教育体系，不至于长时期缺位。
　　Zheng Yuanjie, the renowned author and the “King of Children’s Fairy Tales”, told the press when receiving an interview that self-protection education should be the first lesson children receive in schools, with both girls and boys included. In addition, there are also risks for children to have over reliance on their teachers since hypocrites may walk among them.
　　著名作家、“童话大王”郑渊洁接受媒体采访时表示，幼儿防范性侵害教育应该从第一节课就开始，不仅要针对女孩，也应该针对男孩。除此之外，不能片面强调老师的言行都是对的，这在某种程度上使孩子丧失了判断是非的能力，也导致个别教师在性侵行为上的肆无忌惮。
　　Prevention education is important. Parents and schools should not avoid sex subjects and topics; rather, they should provide children with proper guidance about sexuality: refusing sexual requests asked by anyone. Therefore, children should be told that what sexual assault is, what kind of behaviors are unacceptable and what should they do when they actually get assaulted: try to calm down and find a wise way to escape when they get assaulted and avoid irritating the offender, immediately inform parents and the police and go to hospital for medical examinations, and if, unfortunately, there is no way to escape, try to avoid getting killed. 　　Sex education has different stages. One’s sex psychology came into being when he or she is born, and therefore sex education should not be postponed to puberty time. Children in different stages have different sex psychologies, which require parents to conduct sex education accordingly. Kids should develop self-protection awareness in kindergarten to identify danger, and in elementary school and junior high, capabilities and skills of self-protection should be further fostered.
　　Avoid secondary trauma. The information children should get from their parents is that if they are injured, it’s not their own fault, so that the children can eliminate the self-suspicious, self-denial self-denigration and shame in their hearts, build self-awareness and elevate self-worth. To avoid the secondary trauma, parents should respect children’s will and do not force them to go to school if they don’t want to. The recovery time for sex assault could be very long, and it’s important for parents to be understanding for unusual and emotional behaviors during such time. Parents should refuse visits, even by the grandparents, as much as possible, and avoid keeping asking the children to remind the incident, and keep in mind that inappropriate approaches could cause secondary trauma. In addition, seeking physiological and, if possible, psychological treatments are also necessary.
　　做好防范教育。家长与学校不应“谈性色变”，从小要指导儿童正确的性观念：任何人提出的性接触，都要断然拒绝。所以，学校和家长要让孩子清楚地知道何为性伤害行为；教孩子学会区分好的和不好的接触；告诉孩子什么样的人会对其进行性伤害；让孩子知道遇到性伤害后怎么办；要让孩子明白，一旦遭遇性伤害，要做到以下几点：在与他人的接触中，如果判断出了是不好的接触，尽快冷静下来，然后想办法机智地离开；不要激怒侵犯者，以免给自己带来生命危险；如果被性伤害，要做三件事情，即立刻告诉父母、报警、到医院检查身体情况；如果力量无法与侵害者抗衡，也没有机会逃离，也要保护好自己的生命。
　　儿童性教育需注重阶段性。性心理从孩子一出生就有，所以性教育不是孩子进入青春期以后的事。在不同成长阶段的孩子有不同的性心理，所以家长应该了解孩子的特性，进行针对性教育。从幼儿园开始，就要让儿童学习了解自己的身体，建立自我保护意识，学会识别危险信号，从而有效预防性侵害。小学阶段，要让学生了解应对性侵害的一般方法，提高自我保护能力；初中阶段，更要让学生学会应对性侵害的基本技能。
　　尽量避免二次创伤。孩子需要从父母这里获得的信息是：一旦你遇到这样的事情，你要知道这不是你的错。一定要告诉父母，父母会保护你不会再受到伤害。一定用坚定的语言告诉孩子这不是他（她）的错。因为坚定而明确的正向回应能直接针对其内心深处的“自我怀疑、自我否定、自我贬低”，会有效缓解受害者内心的“自耻感”，会有效帮助其完成“自我认知”的重建，促其“提升自我价值”。为了尽量避免二次创伤，首先要充分尊重孩子的意愿，孩子说不想上学，就不要上学。说想休学，就尽量休学。因为遭遇如此创伤，孩子很难短期恢复。这时候家长一定要理解和接纳他们任何可能的情绪表现和异常行为。在没有孩子同意的情况下，不要有太多的人看望，哪怕是爷爷奶奶等至亲。不要责怪孩子，更不能急于向孩子了解“发生了什么”。如果说话不注重技巧，孩子就会感受到被揭伤疤一样的二次伤害。父母还要与孩子沟通帮助做一些生理上的防范，尽可能避免例如怀孕等后续的伤害。如果可以，建议家长寻求专业心理咨询师的帮助，或者在心理咨询师的专业指导下帮助孩子。
　　Further Development and Improvement of Relevant Laws and Regulations
　　进一步发展和完善法律
　　On top of conducting sex education, experts said that further developing and consummating relevant laws and regulations is also essential for the purpose of protecting children from harm. Achieving such purpose requires a lot of efforts, for instance, clearing people’s doubt on the charges of “underage prostitution”. You Wei, a law professor from East China University of Politics and Law, says that the charges are not imagined, but defined and refined from summing up experiences. The charges and penalties are being transformed and amended over time, owing to the changes of the society conditions and people’s perception, and sometimes adjustments and detailing will also be made if necessary. According to You, the charge of underage prostitution is still classified as a felony in China law system, which could receive a penalty of at least 5-year imprisonment which exceeds the minimum penalty for rape charges of 3-year imprisonment. Besides, although the deterrent of severe punishments are necessary, the excess dependence on heavy penalties should be avoided, especially the death penalty. Actually, improving the awareness of prevention and spotting potential crimes are much more effective than simply applying heavy penalties. Therefore, further researches on crime prevention are necessary. 　　除了性教育先行之外，专家表示进一步发展和完善保护儿童免受性侵的相关法律同样至关重要。这需要时间，也需要做大量的工作。比如，对于民众对“嫖宿幼女罪”的质疑，华东政法大学游伟教授表示，法律上的犯罪罪名从来就不是凭空想象而来的，它有一个不断总结司法经验并加以比较、提炼的过程。从中国刑法的演变历史和发展情况来看，随着犯罪状态、社会形势以及人们对具体犯罪问题的认识深化，有些犯罪罪名和处罚标准会不断发生变化，有的会进行必要的调整甚至细化。在他看来，“嫖宿幼女罪”在中国现在的整个犯罪体系中，依然处于“重罪”的范围，这可以从它的最低起点刑中得到体现。现行刑法对它的法定最低刑规定为有期徒刑五年，它比之普通的强奸罪还要重(强奸罪的最低刑是有期徒刑三年)。另外，从犯罪预防的角度上讲，刑罚制裁的作用虽然不可缺少，也不应该被低估，但同样要避免所谓的“重刑依赖症”，尤其要防止死刑对遏制犯罪所起作用的过度迷信。事实上，提高防范意识，增加违法犯罪行为的发现率和惩罚率，远远要比单纯重刑威慑的成效要更为显著，我们更应该在这些方面多进行研究，寻求更为有效的控制犯罪的对策。
　　Dale Rutstein has provided four suggestions on children-targeting sex crime prevention: first, different “sex assaults” should be defined by law; second, inflict more severe punishment upon sex criminals targeting the underage; third, provide support and consulting services for victims’ families; fourth, governments and schools should further conduct close cooperation to prevent such crimes.
　　对此，荣明达建议，第一，不同形式的“儿童性侵害”的定义需要规范。第二，要从法律上对儿童性侵害行为实施更加严厉的惩罚。第三，通过开展社会福利工作，为受到侵害的儿童或家庭提供帮助和咨询服务。第四，政府各部门之间形成合力，通过充分合作来预防或杜绝儿童性侵害事件的再次发生，比如在学校、警方、社区义工、医院等形成一个良好的解决问题的机制。
　　According to Dale Rutstein, sex education and punishing the sex offenders, although highly necessary, won’t be enough. The recently-occurred has proved that only when all social sectors cooperate to build a shelter for children and care about their growth can they actually prevent tragedies from happening. Failing to protect the children will be not only a failure for the families, but also a humiliation for the entire human society. Therefore, all countries should enhance vigilance and the safeguarding of children’s happy childhood.
　　在荣明达看来，适时适度开展性教育，严厉打击性侵儿童者固然重要，但是仅仅这些并不够。以往的悲剧一再证明，法律会有百密一疏，教育无法面面俱到，只有社会各界都从细微处入手，关注每一个孩子的成长环境，才能为他们构筑一堵安全的防护墙。如果无法让天真无邪的儿童免受性侵，那将不仅是个人和家庭的悲剧，更是全人类的耻辱。因此，面对性侵儿童这一堪称世界公害的恶行，世界各国都需时时保持高度警惕，动员家庭、学校和社会的力量，这样才能让每一个儿童都拥有一个健康安全的童年。
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