Two very deaf ladies were travelling on top of an open bus.
“Windy isn’t it?”asked one.
“No， it isn’t Wednesday，it’s Thursday，”said the other.
“Yes， I’m thirsty， too. Let’s get off and have a Coca-Cola.”
“Did anyone laugh when you fell on the ice?”
“No， but the ice made a few cracks.”
One day a really skinny man was walking along when he met a really fat man. The fat man said，“Looks like you’ve been in a famine.”So the skinny man said， “Looks like you caused it.”
Four-year-old Tommy walked into his house one day carrying a worm.
“What are you doing with that worm?”demonded his mother.
“We were playing outside，”replied the boy，“and I thought I’d show him my room.”
Did you hear about the absent-minded professor who struck a match to see if he had turned out the light?
One day Mrs Edison said to her husband:“Tom， I don’t care what you’ve invented， but I can’t sleep with that light on.”
Tim said to Jim，“Give me a dollar，and I’ll have as much as you.”
Jim said to Tim，“No， you give me a dollar， and then I’ll have twice as much as you.”
How much did each one have?
（Tim had five dollars and Jim had seven.）
“You ought to be ashamed，” a father told his lazy son，“When George Washington was your age， he was a surveyor.”
“And when he was your age，” the boy replied，“he was President of the United States.”
The mother was tucking her four-year-old son into bed after an especially trying day.“Well，”she sighed，“I’ve certainly worked from son up to son down.”
（注：tuck 使盖好被子安睡；trying难受的，恼人的；from son up to son down 与fron sun up to sun down 音同。）