HUMOUR AND JOKES
作者 :  本刊编辑部

  A
  Once upon a time, there was a man who wanted to steal a neighbour's doorbell. But he clearly understood that while his hand touched the bell, it would ring and something terrible would happen to him. The ringing could be heard by others. So he covered his ears with something, thinking that everything would be all right and that he could get the doorbell without any trouble. But what happened was that he was caught on the spot for stealing the doorbell of his neighbour.
  B
  Long, long ago, there was a monk(和尚) who always carried water with a pole(扁担) and two barrels(水桶). One day he met another monk who wanted to carry water, too. So they could carry a barrel of water, each using the equal(相等的) force. Later a third monk wanted to join them. But with three monks, a heated quarrel happened and no water could be fetched. What's wrong with them? They each wanted to avoid taking the worst part of the labour and tried to put burden(负担) to the other two. At last they had no water to drink.
  Selfishness(自私) is such a bad quality that it can make people achieve nothing. To bring the work to success we need people to make selfless offers to others.
  C
  Once in the nation of Zheng there was a man who wanted to buy himself a pair of shoes. He took the measurement of his own feet with a piece of string(绳). Then he went to the market. He was looking at some shoes at the shoe-maker's when he realized he had left the measurement at home. He put down the shoes and rushed home to fetch it.By the time he returned with the measurement the market was already closed. So he failed to get his shoes. Somebody asked him,“Why didn't you just try the shoes on your feet?”He answered,“I trust the measurement I took rather than my feet.”
  D
  One day a boy went to do some shopping. He saw a man roasting sweet potatoes(烤红薯). It smelt so nice that he came near and bought a big piece. It was very hot so he put it at the bottom of his basket. Later, he went to buy some eggs from an old lady who placed the eggs carefully on the sweet potatoes. On his way back home, he heard sounds coming out from the basket. He looked around and decided that the sounds were from his basket. He bent down(弯腰) and found a little chick coming out of a broken egg.
  E
  A very rich man bought a farm and paid more than it was worth because a very old tree was growing there and it was said that the tree was 300 years old. When he was back in the city,many of his people didn't believe the tree was that old,so the new owner called his caretaker(管家) to check the tree's age.
  A few days later, the caretaker reported his finding.“Great news, boss!”He shouted.“This tree is even older than we thought―it's 321 years.”
  “Good work,” said the owner.“How did you know its age?”
  “Simple,”said the caretaker.“We cut it down and counted the rings.”

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