作者 :  伟 国

  1.Sooner or later(迟早都会点着)
  Mary was so disgusted(厌烦) at her husband’s cigarette smoking that she complained(抱怨) to him one day.
  “I hope that all the cigarette factories will catch fire someday.”
  “Don’t worry, dear. All the cigarettes will be on fire sooner or later.” He said with a smile.
  2.Why are you jumping(为什么跳)
  Mother: Why are you jumping up and down?
  Tom: I’ve just taken some medicine and I forgot to shakethe bottle.
  3.Policeman did the same thing(警察也违法)
  Father:“Uh, oh, I think I just made an illedal(违规的) right-hand turn.”
  Susie:“That’s okay, Dad, the policeman behind you just did the same thing.”
  4.What drunk means(什么叫醉酒)
  One day , a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions.
  Now, he asked,“What’s the meaning of the word ‘Drunk’, Dad?”
  “Well, my son,”his father replied,“look, there standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.”
  “But, dad,” the boy said,“there’s only ONE policeman!”
  5.You don’t have to pay for lightning(闪电不要钱)
  Teacher: Who can tell me the difference between lightning and electricity?
  Student: You don’t have to pay for lightning.
  6.Not necessary to answer(没必要回答)
  Teacher:“I have two questions, it isn’t necessary to answer the second question if you know the result of the first question. How much hair do you have?”
  Student:“A hundred and twenty millions.”
  Teacher:“How do you know it?”
  Student:“It is not necessary to answer the second question.”
  7.You cannot beat me(你也不能打我)
  Father: I can’t stand that, do you know why I’ll punish you stemly(严厉地)?
  Son: I don’t know.
  Father: Because you beat the younger child. I’ll never let it happen again.
  Son: But I’m younger than you, you can’t beat me anyway!
  8.Mad man(车道上的疯子)
  There’s a senior(年老的) citizen driving on the highway.
  His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says,“Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!”
  Herman says,“I know, but there isn’t just one , there are hundreds!”

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